Damaged goods
by Tourmaline20
Summary: Merlin is injured protecting Arthur and has to deal with the consequences. Non-reveal fic.
1. Attack

Damaged Goods

Arthur and the others go out to fight a creature that had been attacking the villages and Merlin is injured.

Arthur rode through the forest surrounding Camelot with Merlin and his knights riding along behind him. Arthur scanned the forest for any signs of the creature they were seeking, Arthur had received reports from a number of Camelot's surrounding villages about attacks on livestock and people. All of the reports had been the same, the creatures always attacked at night and moved so quickly that no one was able to see exactly what it was. All anyone knew was that the creature was huge, fast, and able to fly. Considering the past difficulties Camelot had suffered from dragons and other magical creatures Arthur had instantly set out to find the monster and stop it.

Arthur's greatest concern was that the creature was wyvern, but he didn't see how that was possible, all of the villagers had reported that the creature only attacked at night and never during the day, suggesting something nocturnal. Nasty as wyvern's were they were not nocturnal animals and had no difficulties or hesitations with attacking in the daylight. Gaius had made a few suggestions of creatures that attacked solely at night, but without any further information about the creature he could not give Arthur a definitive answer.

Therefore, Arthur had gathered Merlin and his knights and set out to find the creature. Even though no one had seen the monster clearly everyone had agreed that it was big, strong, fast, dangerous, and that it was attacking the same general area. As they rode through the dim forest Merlin piped up, "So how exactly are we supposed to stop something when we don't even know what the Hell it is?"

Arthur shot Merlin an annoyed look, "We have faced many creatures without knowing what they are and have come out fine in the end."

Merlin starred back incredulously, "Fine?" he said in disagreement, "So you would call getting bitten, having knights killed, and nearly being killed yourself to be fine?"

Arthur stopped his horse and said, "Yes, because we are still alive right now, but if you don't shut up that's not going to continue you."

Gwaine snorted with laughter as he moved forward carrying a torch, one massive problem with tracking a creature that was only awake during the night was that they needed to carry torches and move slower than usual due to limited visibility. As they rode through the forest Arthur stayed close to his knights and continued to look for any signs of movement, there wasn't any.

Percival's horse tossed its head as they headed deeper into the forest still seeing nothing. Everyone was on high alert as they came to a small clearing that lay just outside of one of the most recently attacked villages. As they came into the village they heard the gentle bleating of a heard of sheep that was being penned up for the knight. Arthur called, "Alright spread out and keep your eyes open, but stay out of sight. If this thing sees us standing around it may simply decide this village is too much trouble and attack another location, which is the last thing we want." Arthur had specifically spoken to one of the farmers and gotten the man to agree to allow them to use the animals as bait for the creature.

Everyone dosed their torches and stayed back behind the tree cover as they waited. Merlin clutched the bridal of his horse nervously. He had no idea what this creature was, but Merlin knew there was every chance that he would be the one who would have to fight it off as usual. Fortunately, Merlin could take comfort in the fact that the darkness would help him conceal his magic from Arthur and the others.

The small group sat around in the forest waiting for what seemed like hours, but suddenly the sheep began to panic and the horses tensed. Arthur looked up, "this is it." A moment later there was a loud whooshing noise and from out of nowhere a huge dark shape flew down from the sky. As the creature dove in Arthur and the others rushed forward holding their crossbows high and leaving their horses behind, the animals of Camelot were accustomed to battle, but there were some things that even a trained warhorse would flee from and it wasn't worth the risk of being thrown. The monster was huge, easily the size of a wyvern, but not as lizard like in its appearance, as it flew low, it entered the light cast by nearby houses and they saw it for what it was, a griffin. The griffin was more catlike than the wyvern, it had long deep set claws and sharp fanged teeth. It's body was half bird and half lion, the dark brown feathers moved seamlessly into golden fur. It was a terrifying beauty to it. When it opened its mouth and shrieked the sound that came out was like the combination of a bird of prey's call and the roar of a lion. As the bolts hit the griffin it gave a roar of pain, but did not stop its flight.

Griffin's were powerful magical creatures and only a precise hit would be enough to stop it. The horses instantly began to rear in fright and Arthur gave a sigh of relief at having ordered his men to dismount. The griffin soared back upwards as the knights gathered together in a wall holding their shields high. Merlin stayed down and to rear, he was waiting for the right moment, as the creature flew down again Arthur and the knights loosed more bolts and Merlin muttered spell, causing his eyes to flash gold. The magic caught the bolts and guided them directly into the griffins' heart, as they hit the creature shrieked in agony as it crashed to the ground spraying grass and dirt in every direction.

Arthur and the others cheered and slapped each other in congratulations, Merlin ran over to them feeling a sense of relief as he saw the griffin lying dead in the field. Merlin should have known it was too easy. Before Arthur had even finished slapping Gwaine on the shoulder Merlin heard another shriek and turned to see another creature flying in, without even thinking Merlin pushed Arthur out of the way shouting the kings' name.

The attack came so quickly Merlin didn't have time to say a spell as the second griffin flew past swinging its claws wildly through the air. Merlin didn't have time to move or even really realize what was happening until it did. The griffin slashed down and a sharp pain spread across the side of Merlin's face. Merlin screamed in agony as he fell to the ground clutching his now bleeding face. Arthur and the others instantly rolled to their feet and took up their weapons once again. Merlin's vision began to fade in and out, but despite the exhaustion and pain he forced himself to concentrate and muttered another spell to guide the arrows into the griffins' heart. As his eyes turned gold and the magic took effect Merlin felt a wave of exhaustion over take him and he collapsed unconscious to the ground.

Arthur and the others scattered as the second monster hit the ground with the same fierce impact as the first. As soon as they were certain it was dead Arthur ran over to his fallen servant shouting, "MERLIN!"

Arthur skidded across the ground and turned Merlin on his side in order to better see the other man's wound. Arthur gasped in shock, there were four long deep gashes going across Merlin's face, they started on the right side of his head just behind the ear, went across his ear, and cheek, and down to his chin. Fortunately, Merlin's eye had not been damaged, but his right ear was in bad shape. The ear was badly clawed, and had been split just above the lobe and just under the curve, Arthur could see the gauges went deep into the ear and knew that Merlin was bleeding badly. Arthur couldn't help feeling a sense of dread rising within him as he looked Merlin over. Arthur had seen many battle wounds and he knew a blow to the ear could cause a person to lose their hearing.

Arthur instantly pulled his mind out of worry and forced himself to focus on the task of tending Merlin's wounds. Arthur called out, "Get me some water now!" Sir Elyan ran back to the horses, which had thankfully remained tethered to the trees, and came back holding a water skin and the medicine bag Merlin always carried with him when he traveled with Arthur and the others.

Arthur carefully poured the water over Merlin's bleeding face, then he rubbed honey into the wounds. Merlin moaned in pain, but did not wake. Once the wounds were clean Arthur wrapped a bandage around Merlin's face, removing Merlin's neckerchief as he did so. The blood instantly began to seep through the bandages and Arthur winced as he said, "Help me."

Gwaine and the others instantly came forward and helped lift Merlin up and carry him towards the village they were near, the villagers had stayed within Camelot for safety so they didn't have to worry about disturbing anyone. As they walked slowly to the nearest house Percival came forward and took Merlin in his own arms. Gwaine turned to Arthur, "We need to get Gauis."

Arthur starred at him in annoyance, "I know that, but riding in the dark is too dangerous."

Gwaine gave an indignant, "WHAT?! You expect us to just sit around here waiting for dawn?! Screw that, I'm going to get help now."

Arthur reached out and grabbed Gwaine's arm in a hard grip, the knight turned back to the king in anger, but then he saw the look of anguish and regret on Arthur's face. After a moment Arthur spoke, "I care about Merlin as well, he was injured saving me, _again_, and I want to help him as much as you do, but riding off in the middle of the night and getting yourself killed because you couldn't see where you were going and ran head long into a tree, or were thrown by your horse because it caught it's leg in a ditch you couldn't see isn't going to help anyone. The best we can do is care for Merlin and the horses then bring Merlin to Gauis first thing in the morning."

Leon said, "We should dispose of those as well." He pointed to the bodies of the two griffins, "We have no idea what kind of effect the bodies will have on the water or anything else."

Arthur nodded, "Yes, we'll get Merlin settled, then we'll build a pyre, and tend to the horses."

The others nodded in agreement as Elyan opened the door so Percival could carry Merlin inside the house. The home they entered was a small farmers' cottage, much like any other that could be found in villages throughout the land. There was a single room with a chimney in the corner, and table just to the side of the door. The occupant had obviously left quickly because there were several pots and other things lying around.

Elyan, being the son of a blacksmith, and most experienced in these matters, gathered some wood sitting in a basket and started a fire in the pit. Arthur took off his own red cape and laid it out on the floor as a bed roll for Merlin, Gwaine did the same as he covered Merlin in order to ensure the other man was kept properly warm. Arthur winced as he saw the blood still soaking through the bandages on Merlin's face, instinctively he took extra bandages out of the medicine bag and changed the ones that were now soaked with Merlin's blood.

The injuries on Merlin's face looked just as bad as they had, Merlin moaned and shied away in his sleep, but did not awaken. The knights all hissed in sympathy as they saw Merlin's wounds, Gwaine cursed and Elyan gasped out, "Yee, Gods."

Arthur felt a rush of guilt fly through him as he looked Merlin over, the other man had been injured protecting Arthur _again_ and Arthur knew that this time there would be no miraculous recovery, no last minute, fly by the seat of your pants cure, no possible way to undo the damage that had been done. Merlin would bare these scars for the rest of his life and nothing, not even magic, would be enough to heal Merlin this time.

Arthur checked Merlin's wounds for signs of contamination, discoloration around the injury or strange seepage around and from the wound, but thankfully he saw none, Merlin's blood was the usual red. And although there was a great deal of it Merlin didn't seem to be suffering from any serious infection. Arthur also checked to make sure that the cuts hadn't gone into the bone. The last thing Merlin needed was a broken jaw or cheek bone. Despite the seriousness of the injury however, it seemed that fate was once again on Merlin's side and Arthur could find no signs of serious bone injury. As Arthur rewrapped the bandages he felt his eyes string and wiped them, insisting to himself that he was not crying, _No man is worth your tears_ he remembered saying, but he no longer thought it now.

Merlin had already done a great deal for Camelot, Arthur wasn't nearly as stupid, ungrateful, or oblivious as Merlin and several others thought. Arthur knew perfectly well that he wouldn't be king right now if it weren't for Merlin and his help. Merlin had helped smuggle Arthur out of Camelot, he had protected Arthur when Arthur had been suffering from, whatever the Hell it had been that had made him act like such a bloody idiot, Merlin had led them to safety when they being pursued by Agravaine and his men, and even gone back to divert the others when Arthur and his allies had been traveling in those caves. Merlin had given Arthur the support and confidence he needed to become a king and retake his land. Arthur knew that he wouldn't be here without the clumsy oaf he was constantly complaining about, and he knew that every time he saw Merlin from now on he would be reminded of what the foolish man had done for him, Arthur knew guilt would tear him whenever he saw Merlin's face.

Arthur sat back up and instantly shook himself, no, he would not let himself drown in guilt right now, Merlin was injured and he needed their help. Sitting around mopping wasn't going to do anyone any good. Arthur sat up determinedly and collected himself, he needed to be practical and calculating right now, that was the best way to deal with this situation, and Merlin's best chance of survival. Arthur leaned back and said, "Alright, we need to deal with the bodies, get some food, and water, and tend to the horses."

The others nodded and instantly began dividing themselves into groups, Elyan and Percival went out to burn the bodies while Leon and Gwaine went to gather food and tend to their horses. Burning the bodies of the Griffins was fairly easy, the main problem was finding enough wood to do so, fortunately the villagers all kept stack of firewood near their homes. It took everything the village had to burn the two griffins, but Arthur promised himself he would repay them for it. The smell of the burning bodies was truly revolting, it was something akin to a clogged sewage, or contaminated water that had been left to seep, and none of them managed to eat that night, not even Gwaine.

Everyone sat up that night, staying close to Merlin as he slept, the smaller mans' face was even paler than usual and he had developed a fever from the cuts. Arthur wasn't surprised given the amount of blood Merlin had lost, not to mention how deep the wounds went. As Merlin tossed with chills he began to mutter to himself it was indistinguishable muttering, but slowly it became clearer, "Arthur, I'm sorry, so sorry, my duty to protect you. Failed, so sorry, forgive me."

Arthur blinked in shock, but shushed Merlin without thinking, "It's alright Merlin, nothing's wrong I'm fine and everything will be o.k., you haven't failed." Merlin continued to shake with cold as he continued to beg for forgiveness over and over again. Arthur sat with Merlin as the other knights starred at him with mixtures of sorrow and concern etched on their faces. That night was probably one of the longest any of them could remember having, they managed to get Merlin to drink some water, but he didn't wake.

Sometime shortly after midnight Merlin bolted upright and reached his hand out shouting, "ARTHUR! ARTHUR WHERE ARE YOU?! ARTHUR!

Arthur grabbed the smaller man around the shoulders, lest he hurt himself, the others quickly rushed to Merlin's side and tried to hold him off as well. Despite being so small and gangly, Merlin was remarkably strong, Arthur supposed it was all the water Merlin was always hauling around the castle. Arthur called out, "Merlin, it's alright Merlin. I'm right here and I'm fine."

Merlin continued to mutter, "Arthur, need to stay close. I have to protect you, it's my duty, my destiny, our destiny, Albion. Has to happen, need to stay close, Arthur needs me." Arthur blinked in surprise, _protect him?_ Merlin was a clumsy oaf who was always tripping over his own two feet, he could hardly protect himself much less anyone else including Arthur. Still, Arthur knew that Merlin had protected him many times throughout the years, how many times had Merlin pushed Arthur out of the way of some danger, or warned Arthur against going something ridiculously stupid? Hell Merlin had even drank poison for Arthur, and stopped Arthur from killing his own farther when Morgause had conjured that image of Ygraine.

Arthur felt a twist of guilt go through him that he always associated with the memory of holding a sword to his own father's neck and threatening to strike. Yes, it was indeed true, despite his bumbling, and the constant chattering, and the one million and three annoying little things Merlin did that drove Arthur up the wall at least a hundred times a day Arthur knew he did indeed owe Merlin his life several times over. The one thing that confused Arthur was hearing Merlin talk about duty, and destiny, and Albion, it didn't make any sense to Arthur. Yes, Arthur could see Merlin feeling as though protecting the king were his duty, Merlin was his servant, and his friend, but destiny? Albion? It made absolutely no sense.

Apparently the other knights agreed because when they heard Merlin's shouts Gwaine barked out, "What the Hell?"

Arthur didn't release his hold on Merlin, he knew the others would never let him hear the end of 'cuddling' with his manservant, but he also knew that if he moved Merlin would start to thrash again and the last thing Merlin needed was to aggravate his wounds, or cause them to open wider. Arthur shook his head at Gwaine, "I have absolutely no idea."

Leon piped up, "He's probably delirious from the fever and muttering nonsense, I've seen it before."

Arthur nodded as Merlin continued to mumble, "Arthur, have to protect Arthur, needs me, have to help him, Albion needs him, have to protect him."

Arthur shushed Merlin again, "relax Merlin, it's alright, I'm here with you and I'm not going anywhere."

Gwaine gave Arthur a smirk, and Arthur had to fight the urge to groan. Yes, he was definitely going to be hearing about this one for quite some time. Despite the cheeky grins on their faces the other knights stayed close to Merlin and Arthur throughout the night, they frequently went back and forth getting extra wood for the fire and water for Arthur and Merlin to drink.

Merlin spent the night drifting in and out of consciousness, but it was clear that even when Merlin was 'awake' he wasn't aware of where he was or who was with him. His eyes were clouded over from the fever and he continued to mutter nonsense, sometimes he shouted about Arthur being in danger, usually something related to one of the many threats Arthur had faced since Merlin had first come to Camelot, and other times it seemed to be something else entirely. More than once Merlin shouted out to someone called 'Freya' and kept saying that he was sorry over and over again. Arthur asked Merlin who Freya was, but Merlin would just shake his head and say, "My fault, all my fault, so sorry."

Arthur had no idea what Merlin was talking about, Arthur tried to coax Merlin into explaining what the devil he was babbling about. Several of the others echoed Leon's comment that Merlin was merely muttering nonsense due to the fever. Sir Percival made up a poultice to apply to Merlin's forehead to keep the fever down and they managed to get Merlin to swallow a few potions to help with the pain, and fight the fever and infection.

Despite all this Merlin's forehead continued to burn and it was a very long night for them all, Arthur in particular. Whenever Arthur tried to leave Merlin's side the other man would start mumbling and calling out to him again, what was exceptionally weird about each of these 'episodes; was that whenever Merlin got particularly upset or the fever spiked something would happen outside the hut they were staying in. Several times Arthur heard tree branches breaking or things being smashed, once there was even a loud crash that turned out to be a wheel barrel falling apart, but no matter how many times Elyan and the other knights checked the area they found no one else around, and no sign of any other griffins or any other type of threat.

After the breaking of the wheel barrel, which was the third odd occurrence of the night, Percival whispered, "Perhaps the village is haunted somehow. Someone might have summoned a dark spirit, just as Morgana did. Hell, it might very well be Morgana again."

Arthur shook his head, "No, that doesn't make any sense. If someone had conjured a spirit it would have already attacked us, it wouldn't be floating around breaking tree branches and wheel barrels. Perhaps this is the work of some imp or wood nymph, it certainly is the type of thing those creatures do."

Gwaine said, "Yes, but wouldn't we have seen the creature by now?"

Elyan shrugged, "Who knows, and who really cares. Whatever it is doing this hasn't hurt any of us and we have much more important things to worry about." He pointed to Merlin, "I say we simply let it go unless something blatantly attacks us or causes some serious problem, if that happens then we will deal with it when the time comes."

Arthur nodded, "Agreed."

Arthur was leaning back against the wall of the hut nodding slightly as the suns first rays peaked through the window. Gwaine sat up rubbing his eyes, "about damn time, let's get going. The sooner we can get Merlin to Gaius, the better it will be for him."

Arthur nodded, "Percival, can you help me."

Arthur knew he couldn't get up on his own, Merlin's was still half lying on him, and Arthur's legs had both fallen asleep due to the weight. Percival bent down and lifted Merlin up into his arms once again. Arthur couldn't help giving a slight smirk, this was becoming a bit of a habit; as Merlin's weight was removed from his legs Gwaine reached down and offered Arthur a hand. Arthur took it and used the other man's weight to leverage himself into a standing position, Arthur swayed slightly as the blood flow began to return and his legs which began to prickle and tingle.

Arthur limped around the small hut for a few minutes as the circulation returned, then headed outside with the others. The horses were saddled and waiting for them. The village looked much different in the light of day, Arthur saw the broken wheel barrel lying in front of a nearby house, and several broken branches and pots lying about. There was a huge stretch of scorched earth lying behind the village, away from any of the crops or the well so there was no risk of contamination, where they had burned the bodies of the two griffins.

A small amount of smoke rose from the still smoldering embers as Sir Elyan and Sir Leon covered the space with dirt to make certain it didn't blaze into a full blown fire and cause any sort of damage to the village or anyone who happened to be nearby. The air still stunk with the rank of the griffin's bodies and Arthur knew it would take some time before he'd be able to complete forget the horrid smell. Arthur shook his head as Percival and Gwaine hoisted Merlin onto his horse and secured him. Merlin was still unconscious and couldn't ride on his own so Arthur mounted behind him and leant Merlin against himself to keep the other man in the saddle.

Arthur was riding on Merlin's Jolie horse rather than having Merlin ride on the kings' horse because Arthur's horse was a bit more spirited than Jolie and the last thing Merlin needed was a rough ride. Elyan tied the reins of Arthur's horse to his own and they set off. The village was close to Camelot, but it took them a great deal of time to return to Camelor. They couldn't move at their usual pace due to Merlin's injury, and they were all tired from the long night.

It was past noon when they finally arrived back at Camelot, as soon as the castle was within eyesight Gwaine urged his horse into a fast gallop so he could go and fetch Gaius so the physician could meet them when they came in. Arthur and the others continued at their slower pace. As they entered the kingdom Arthur explained about the griffins and gave orders for several of Camelot's guards and servants to assist in repairing the damage that was done to the village by the attack.

As they arrived in the courtyard of Camelot Gauis, Gwen, and Gwaine (a/n triple G) all came running down the steps with Tristan close behind. Gwen shouted, "Arthur! Merlin!" as Arthur dismounted and Percival helped him get Merlin down off Jolie. Merlin slid off the horse and was jarred by the movement, his head jerked and he starred blearily around him as Gauis came forward to look at his wounds. Merlin groggily muttered, "Waz, it?

Tristan hissed in sympathy as he saw the bloody bandages wrapped around Merlin's face, "What the Hell?"

Percival said, "We were attacked by two griffins, Merlin was injured protecting Arthur."

Tristan starred back and forth between Percival and Merlin, then said, in a voice of complete disbelief, "Two GRIFFINS! And you're all still alive and in one piece?" Tristan gave an impressed whistle as he ran a hand through his short hair, "Well Merlin's much tougher than most people realize. I've seen entire convoy's destroyed by one griffin, it's a miracle you're all still alive."

Arthur said, "Yes it is, but I wish this hadn't been the cost of our survival."

Arthur pointed to Merlin as Gauis gently cradled Merlin's face in his hands, "Oh my dear boy. Let's get him inside."

Gwen rushed to Merlin's side and gasped in shock, "Oh Merlin." She turned to Arthur and looked around, "no one else was hurt?" she asked in a disbelieving voice.

Arthur shook his head, "Not really, Leon pulled his shoulder, but other than that nothing, I can't really explain it. At first the arrows seemed to just glance off the griffins hides, then suddenly they all found there mark. I've never seen anything like it before, it was almost like…" Arthur trailed off as he shook his head, "No, it couldn't be."

Gwen pulled Arthur into a hug, "this is so, I don't know…"

Gwen trailed off as Arthur nodded, the two of them had become so close that they could typically follow each other's thoughts. Arthur knew Gwen was very conflicted right now, one the one hand she was upset about Merlin and concerned for his well-being, on the other hand she was relieved to see Arthur and the others safely returned.

Gwen pulled back as Percival walked around them and carried Merlin up the steps and into Gauis' quarters as Arthur explained the attack and everything that had happened after including Merlin's fever. Gauis nodded in understanding, "the fever is normal, most people who suffer from a serious wound like this one usually develop a fever of some kind, it typically breaks in a day or so."

Percival gently laid Merlin on the patient bed when they arrived and Gauis slowly unwrapped the bandages surrounding Merlin's face. Gwen turned her head away as the wounds were revealed, Gauis shook his head gravely as he looked the wounds over, they were still just as bad as they had been the previous night. Much of Merlin's skin had been torn and was now in jagged patterns. Gauis said, "He'll need stitches, Elyan, would you hand me the basket over there." And pointed to a small basket sitting on top of the steps on the side of the room, the same place Merlin himself usually sat when the young man was feeling particularly upset about something.

Elyan said, "Of course."

And grabbed the basket as Gwen stepped forward, "Gauis, I would like to help you."

Gauis looked up, "Are you certain my lady?"

Gwen's face became determined, "Yes, Merlin is my friend and I want to help him. The wounds are deep and you will not be able to tend them yourself. I've helped you stitch up patients before, and I can now."

Gauis gave her a watery smile, "Thank you, my lady."

Gwen grabbed his hand and said in a half-joking, half-tender voice, "none of that, it's Gwen to you. Just Gwen."

Gauis said, "Never, _just_ Gwen my lady." And opened the box. Arthur and Percival sat Merlin up and gave him a strong sleeping draft so he wouldn't waken, then Gwen and Gauis set to work. Despite being up all night Arthur wanted to stay, and he could tell from the determined looks on their faces the other knights felt the same way, but when Gauis noticed Elyan swaying slightly from exhaustion, he scowled and pointed to the door, "To bed all of you. I know you're worried about Merlin, but you're not going to do him any good if you become so exhausted you can't even stand on your own two legs. Now off to sleep and I'll send word if anything changes."

Arthur felt a prickle of irritation at this, he was the king of Camelot, he was not going to be ordered to bed like a child. Arthur instantly opened his mouth saying, "Gauis, you can't just.."

But he never finished, Gauis turned and gave them all a severe stare and said, "Now." In a tone that left no room for argument. Gwen looked up from the needle she was threading and it was clear that she agreed with Gauis completely. Arthur sighed resignedly, there was no way that any of them would be stupid enough to go against Gauis and Gwen at the same time, feeling slightly annoyed, and suffering a blow to his ego as he turned and left Arthur headed back to his quarters with as much dignity as he could possibly muster, while also fighting against the exhaustion that was now beginning to overtake him.

Arthur could hear Tristan snickering slightly and as he grasped the door handle the other man said, "Yes, yes, off to bed now children. Time for you to go on your way and let the adults work."

Arthur turned and glared at him, "Shut up."

Tristain pointed at Merlin, "Now now _Sire_." He made the title sound as insulting as possible, "You wouldn't want to hurt Merlin's feelings by having him find out, you used your insult for him on someone else."

Arthur flipped Tristan a very rude hand gesture and left without another word with the other knights trailing behind him. Arthur was just thinking there was no possible way he would sleep with his worry for Merlin swirling in his head, but once he got back to his quarters and George had helped him out of his armor and into a sleeping shirt he felt himself drift off almost instantly. Arthur slept deeply, and the next thing he knew the bed was shifting and a familiar hand was running itself through his hair. A hand that was callused from years of scrubbing floors, sewing dresses, and helping in a forge; Arthur rolled over to find Gwen sitting on the bed and asked, "Merlin?"

Gwen had tears running down her face, but she gave him a weak smile, "He's still asleep, Gauis said he'll be alright. There are no signs of infection, the only problem is going to be the scars."

Arthur closed his eyes in anguish, "It's my fault, he was injured saving me."

Gwen pulled Arthur close, "No it isn't Arthur, Merlin saved you because he cares about you and because it was the right thing to do. You know Merlin, he'll go to any lengths to protect those he loves. Merlin knew the risks involved and he went with you anyway. That's just who he is."

Arthur nodded as he felt Gwen's tears mixing with his own, "It's just hard, seeing him like that. Knowing it happened because he was protecting me. I want to do something to change it, to fix it."

Gwen leant her head on his shoulder saying, "And that is what's really bothering you isn't it? You can't fix this, it's something we're all going to have to live with. Merlin especially."

Arthur asked hesitantly, "do you think he'll blame me?"

Gwen pulled back to look Arthur in the eye, "Whether he does or doesn't I'll still be here for both of you, and worrying about all those things isn't going to do anyone any good. Now, you need to eat."

Before Arthur could argue that he wasn't hungry his stomach gave a loud grumble and they both smiled lightly. Arthur stood and walked over to the table, "Someone should send word to Hunith, she might want to be here for this."

Gwen said, "I had a messenger ride out to Ealdor while you were asleep."

Arthur shook his head, "Gwen, how on Earth did you get so perfect?"

Gwen sat down opposite Arthur and began to eat as she said, "I'm not perfect Arthur, I just knew that Hunith deserved to know what had happened and that Merlin will want to see his mother when he wakes up. I just thought with my heart."

Arthur reached over and clutched her smaller hand in his own saying, "Make sure you keep doing that."

Gwen nodded and they each went back to eating, lost in thought and worry over Merlin. Arthur didn't really notice what he was putting in his mouth as he dug into the food Gwen brought him, he was worried about Merlin and what would happen. The wounds Merlin suffered were severe and it would take a long time before Merlin was fully healed, even with Gauis and Gwen looking after him there was always the possibility that the wounds would become infected or that Merlin might suffer some other difficulty as a result.

As Arthur took a drink he said, "I checked the wounds several times and didn't see any signs of poison, but I haven't seen anyone wounded by a griffin before and can't help worrying the claws might be contaminated somehow. Have you or Gaius noticed anything like that?"

Gwen swallowed a mouthful of bread and said, "No, Gauis said that griffins don't carry any kind of poison in there claws."

Arthur let out a sigh of relief, "Well at least that's one less thing to worry about."

Gwen said, "Yes, I know. What's more there's no sign of infection either so those are both good things. Although Merlin is still pale and weak from the wound and the blood loss, but Gauis says he has a good chance of recovering."

Arthur felt the huge lump of dread that had settled in his stomach when Merlin had been wounded ease slightly, it wasn't completely gone, but it was better. Gwen and Arthur finished their meal and then headed to the physicians quarters. Sure enough the other knights of the round table were already there checking in on Merlin themselves.

Gauis looked up as his door opened again and gave Arthur a knowing look, "I was wondering how long it would take you to arrive sire." He gestured to Merlin who was sleeping peacefully on the bed, his face still wrapped in bandages, "Merlin is recovering fairly well, he'll probably be unconscious until tonight, or tomorrow morning, then he'll need to get his feet. Thank God his eye wasn't damaged."

"what about his ear?" Arthur asked remembering the blood he has seen and the fear he had felt of Merlin losing his ability to hear from that ear.

Gauis answered with a tone of hopefulness, "the ear wasn't punctured, I tested Merlin's ear with a tuning fork and he didn't seem to have any problem hearing it. As far as I can determine sire he's suffered no lose in his ability to hear, or any problems with using that ear."

Arthur felt the lump in his stomach lessen once more and said, "Gauis if you need anything for Merlin, anything at all, just say so and I'll see to it that he's cared for."

Gauis nodded, "thank you sire, but for now all Merlin really needs is rest and proper food. I have all the potions and salves needed to treat his wounds in my stores."

Arthur released a breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding and Gwaine asked the question they were all wondering, "So Merlin will be alright?"

Gauis said, "I believe he will make a full physical recovery, but it will be difficult for Merlin to deal with the scars he will undoubtedly have from these injuries."

Tristan, who Arthur hadn't noticed when he first came in because the older man was leaning against a wall, said, "at least he isn't in shock anymore."

Arthur's head jerked up and he spoke in a voice that was a combination of anger and concern, "ANYMORE?! You mean he was in shock and you didn't summon me?"

The others knights all began to voice their own protests at not having been called, but Gauis placed two fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly causing them all to go silent. Gauis stood, giving them all a stern glare, "Now, you listen to me all of you. I know you're all worried about Merlin, but I will not have you jeopardizing his recovery by standing around shouting and arguing."

Sure enough Merlin was now stirring and muttering again, "Arthur, where's Arthur? Need to protect Arthur."

Gauis sat back down looking angrily at all of them as he grasped Merlin's hand and stroked the young man's hair. Gauis spoke to Merlin in a calm soft voice, "easy Merlin, Arthur is here and he's safe. Nothing's wrong, you don't need to worry."

Gauis looked back up and said, "Merlin did go into shock shortly after he arrived, but with help from Tristan and Gwen I managed to get his condition under control. Merlin was not in shock long, and shock is a typical response to an injury like this. Merlin is doing well, and if he had been in serious danger I would have summoned you, but as I said the shock passed quickly and he is fine so you can all stop shouting. And even if you're still angry you will stop shouting or so help me I will force every one of you to leave." Gauis's last words were spoken in a tone that broke absolutely no argument, and he raised his head to look Arthur square in the eye saying, "And that includes you as well sire."

Arthur scowled, but held his peace. Arthur knew perfectly well that king or not, Gauis could, and would, certainly force him to leave if Gauis felt Arthur was endangering Merlin's recovery. In fact, Gauis would make Arthur leave, _especially _if he were endangering Merlin's recovery. Arthur nodded as Gauis leaned back saying, "Tristan, I would appreciate it greatly if you would keep your mouth shut when discussing the condition of my patients in the future."

Tristan didn't look the slightest bit ashamed, he merely shrugged, "they would have found out sooner or later."

Gauis gave an agreeing nod and said, "Maybe so, but I would have preferred if the news were delivered in a manner that was a bit more.." he paused searching for the correct term and settled on, "delicately."

Tristan shrugged nonchalantly as Elyan stepped forward, "Whatever happened before doesn't matter. Gauis says Merlin's going to be o.k. and I believe him."

"As do I." said Percival, the others echoed their agreement and they all fell into a silence as Gauis changed Merlin's bandages. Arthur winced when the wounds were exposed, the stitches had closed them so they weren't just open gashed, but they still looked awful. What's more Gauis had been forced to shave Merlin's head on one side so he could treat the wounds in Merlin's scalp, leaving the young man with a large bald spot on his right side.

Arthur helped Gauis with the bandages as the others moved around gathering various items for healing. They were all concerned about Merlin, and Arthur could tell they'd stay as close to the other man as possible until he had recovered. The day passed slowly, Arthur and Gwen both had to come and go many times throughout, they had duties as king and queen that needed to be attended to, and as much as they both hated the idea of leaving Merlin alone, they knew that they had no choice.

As darkness was settling in Arthur found himself once again sitting by Merlin's side, the other man had been moving around more and more lately, and Gauis had said it was a sign that Merlin would wake soon. Sure enough Merlin moaned slightly and his eyelids fluttered as he opened his eyes and groaned loudly, "Oh, my head, what's going on?" Merlin looked around in confusion and his gaze rested on Arthur, "Arthur? What's going on? Where's the griffins? How'd we get back here?" Then he moaned in pain and raised a hand to his face. Arthur caught it as Merlin said, "Why do I feel like my cheek has been scorched?"

Arthur said, "Because you were injured. Do you remember?"

Merlin's eye wrinkled in thought, and he winced in pain as he did so, then he spoke slowly, "I remember the griffins, they attacked. You and the knights." Merlin raised his head and saw the others standing at his bedside and continued, "killed the first then the second one came, it was flying right towards you and I…."Merlin stammered as he looked back at Arthur then slipped his wrist out of Arthur's grasp and gingerly touched his cheek.

Merlin's eyes went wide with shock, then seemed to be hit with a deep sorrow, "how bad is it?" He asked in a somewhat desperate tone.

Gauis, who had been standing in the corner and started walking over as soon as Merlin had stirred, finished walking the last few steps to his wards side and said, "I won't lie to you Merlin. The wounds are long and they go deep, very deep. You will have scars."

Merlin closed his eyes in anguish and nodded his head in understanding. Arthur could see tears spilling down Merlin's face and after a few moments Merlin spoke in a choked voice, "I want to see."

Gauis said, "Merlin I don't think it's wise…"

But Merlin cut him off as he raised his eyes to the physician and said, "Please Gauis, I need to see it." His tone of voice made it clear that this wasn't some kind of morbid curiosity, or moment of self pity Merlin needed to see the wounds if he was ever going to accept what had happened to him.

Gauis said, "Very well."

Arthur asked, "Do you want us to leave?"

Merlin squeezed Arthur's hand even harder than he had been before and looked each of the knights, Gwen, Gauis, and Tristan in the eye in turn before he spoke, "No, stay. Please don't leave me."

Gwen crouched down and gently took Merlin's face in her hands, "Never."

Merlin gave her a watery smile, that was half hidden by the bandages, and made him wince once again, as Gauis carefully removed the cloth wrapped around Merlin's face. Gwaine reached down and took a large empty brass bowl that was smooth on the bottom and handed it to Merlin. It was no looking glass, but it would do. Gauis tenderly removed the last bandage as Merlin held the bowl up, his hands shaking slightly as he did so, and looked at himself in the reflection.

The wounds were deep and still hadn't begun to scar over, they were just as awful and encompassing as they had been when the others had first seen it. Merlin starred at his own reflection, too shocked to say anything, which truly was a first for the ever chattering servant. After a few moments Merlin gently raised his hand to his wounds, but before he could touch them Gauis grabbed Merlin's hand, "No Merlin, the wounds are still healing, touching them could pull at the stitches."

Merlin nodded as tears prickled in his eyes. Gwaine said, "it's not so bad you know, I've seen blokes who look much worse. Besides all the ladies will be lining up for you when they find out you got them saving the king's life."

Merlin gave a weak half-hearted chuckle that and said in voice of false humor, "Yes, they'll be chasing after me like no tomorrow, the same way they chase after Arthur now." But it was clear that Merlin was not taking this well, it wasn't surprising considering the extent of the wounds and the fact that Merlin knew how cruel people could be to those who were 'marred' by the trials of battle. Merlin's body started to shake, and the bowl bounced back and forth in his hand as Gauis rewrapped the young man's face. Elyan took the bowl as Merlin continued to quake with the flood of emotions he was feeling.

Gauis pulled Merlin into a loose hug as Merlin began to cry, Gwen grasped him from behind as Arthur and the others all put a hand on Merlin's shoulder. They didn't say anything they simply allowed Merlin to let out his feelings and use Gauis' robes to catch his tears. Arthur didn't know how long they sat there, and he frankly didn't care, eventually Merlin sat up and wiped his eyes as he leaned his head back and groaned slightly with pain, "What do I do now?"

Arthur said, "You rest yourself and get better, and once you are, you get your lazy behind back to work."

Merlin jerked his head up, "You want me to continue my duties?"

Arthur snorted, "You think I'd rather spend the rest of my days being bored to death by George and his brass jokes."

Merlin looked hopeful, but still hesitant, "I don't know if I can."

Arthur grabbed him and said, "Yes you bloody well can. Merlin, you will have scars, but you're not the only one who's ever been wounded in battle. Hell my father had a facial scar."

Merlin snorted, "Yeah one, on his forehead, not all across the side of his face. People will say things."

Elyan said, "So what? People always say things, and you never care what they think."

Arthur added, "and I promise you Merlin. Anyone who speaks ill of your appearance will personally answer to me."

Merlin jerked his head up, "You mean that?"

Arthur said, "Absolutely."

Merlin leaned back and clasped Arthur's hand in gratitude as Percival said, "You're one of us Merlin, we're staying close to you no matter what. We'll do all we can to protect you."

Merlin said, "Thank you. This is just so much." He gingerly touched the bandages and said, "I can't help feeling, like whenever people see me, they'll see a monster."

Gwen said, "Merlin!" in such a sever tone that everyone jumped, "You are not a monster, and I'll not have you saying such things about yourself. Your scars do not change who you are, and you are a kind, gentle, and brave man. And I don't think there's anything wrong with you."

Merlin said, "Thank you." again and settled back on the bed.

Arthur told him, "We sent word to your mother, she will probably come to see you."

Merlin looked up and nodded as Arthur asked, "Is something wrong?"

Merlin shook his head, "Yes, no, I don't know. I want to see my mother, I do, but at the same time I don't want her to see me like this."

Gauis said, "Merlin, your mother will not shy away from you because of your wounds. She has treated the ill and injured in Ealdor her entire life and has seen much worse than your injuries, and you know it. Beside you are her son, she loves you and could never be disgusted by you."

Merlin nodded, "I know. I just, it's hard." Merlin wrapped an arm around himself as he said, "I just don't know what to do, I've always know what to do before, but now I don't what to do."

Merlin's stomach growled loudly as Gwaine said, "Well, why don't we start by getting some food into you and going from there?"

Merlin blushed, but agreed and Percival headed to the kitchens to get them something to eat. They all ate in Gauis' quarters, it was a strange experience, Gauis' rooms were not made to hold them all and his table was not big enough, but eventually everyone got settled and ate. Gwen, Gauis, and Arthur all stayed close to Merlin, refusing to leave his side even for a moment.

Merlin for his part was unusually quiet, and Arthur found he didn't like the change. As much as the king complained about Merlin's endless chattering, he found that now that it was gone he missed it. Merlin ate mechanically and would frequently stare unseeingly out the window, as though desperately searching for something that would make everything come together and make sense for him.

More than once Merlin stopped eating and broke into fresh sobs of grief, every time he did Arthur, Gwen, or Gauis would reach out a comforting hand and allow Merlin to lean on them for comfort. Elyan collected the empty bowls as Merlin leaned back on bed moaning slightly, "it's sore Gauis."

Gauis nodded gravely, "I know my boy, but I've given you all the pain killers I dare, as difficult as it is you're simply going to have to accept whatever discomfort remains until the wounds heal."

Merlin winced, "alright." And went back to starring at the wall in silence.

The others stayed with Merlin until evening, no one said much, they didn't really know what to say, but they all stayed with Merlin offering what comfort they could. They would do everything in their power to help Merlin heal from his injury, Merlin was one of their own, and they would look out for him just as they would look after anyone else injured defending the land.

The next few days passed in a slow haze, Merlin kept to Gauis' chambers and was much more reserved than he usually was. Arthur remembered seeing Merlin act the same way a few times before. Merlin had been unnaturally quiet after Balinor the dragon lord had died, he had also fallen silent just after Morgana had disappeared. Merlin was quiet again after Lancelot had truly died, and Gwen had left Camelot, after the death of Will, and, for some reason Arthur still couldn't discern, after that druid girl who turned into a beast had been discovered and driven from Camelot.

Arthur recognized Merlin's silence as a way for him to try and come to terms with what had happened. Arthur made himself available to Merlin as much as possible, but didn't force anything from him. Gauis had said that was the right method to deal with this situation, and Arthur agreed, Merlin needed to come to terms with what had happened, but it had to be on his own schedule and not anyone elses.

Merlin spent the time cloistered in Gauis' chambers, he never once left and avoided anyone, but Arthur, Gwen, Tristan, and the knights, who came to Gauis' rooms. Merlin couldn't help feeling overwhelmed by what had happened, he had been injured protecting the Arthur a number of times before. Merlin couldn't even being to count the sheer amount of bruises he'd accumulated over the years, or how many times he'd twisted, pulled, jarred, and sprained almost everything in his quest to guide Arthur to the throne, but this was different.

This time Merlin knew he would bear the marks for the rest of his life, and this time he couldn't help feeling shocked by it all. Merlin had never taken much interest in his own appearance, something abundantly clear considering how often he wandered around the castle covered horse dung or leeches, or some other such things, but seeing himself now and knowing that others would be horrified at the sight of him and that there would be many who would shy away from him was a difficult thing to consider.

What's more it was hard to Merlin himself to accept this, his face hurt, and his heart hurt, and he honestly didn't know how to get past it all. Merlin kept to himself as much as possible trying to find a way to move forward, and not succeeding in the slightest. Finally, Hunith arrived in Camelot accompanied by the messenger Arthur had sent to Ealdor to tell her of Merlin's wounds. Naturally her first act was to travel to Gauis' rooms and see her son. Arthur and Gwen were both sitting with Merlin as Hunith came in the door. Hunith gaped slightly at the sight of the king, and bowed nervously, "Forgive me sire."

Arthur stood and held up his hand, "It's alright Hunith, there's no need for you to be so formal when there is no one else present. Besides I believe there is someone you're here to see. So we will leave you."

Arthur held a hand out to Gwen who took it. Despite his words Hunith still bowed to both of them saying, "My lady." To Gwen with a knowing smile that Gwen returned.

As soon as they had left Hunith rushed to Merlin's side, "Oh Merlin, my boy."

Merlin returned the hug, but kept his face tilted away from his mother's, he didn't want her to see. Hunith however, was not to be deterred, she took Merlin's head in her hands and forced him to look her in the eyes, "Merlin Ambrosia, what have I always told you about taking pride in yourself?"

Merlin gave her a watery smile as he said, "Never be ashamed of who you are, no matter what anyone else says, does, thinks, or feels, take pride in yourself as a person and never forget that it is your own thoughts that matter above any others."

Hunith smiled proudly, but Merlin continued, "but what do you do, if you think yourself to be a monster?"

Hunith gasped in shock and pain at hearing this and determinedly said, "Merlin, you are not a monster, you are a brave man who was injured protecting his king, and his friend. Your scars do not make you less of the person you were, if anything they make you something more. These wounds." She gently ran her had along the bandages, "Show the world what I have always known about you. That you, _my son_ are a brave, selfless, wonderful man, who is deserving of respect."

Merlin blinked up at her as the tears fell freely down his face, and asked, "really?" In a chocked voice.

Hunith nodded, "Most definitely, I am very proud of you Merlin. I have always been proud of you, but now it's even greater. And I know your father would be proud of you as well."

Merlin wrapped his arms around his mother and leaned into her, "Thank you, it's just so hard, knowing that people will always be starring and whispering, knowing that I'll never look at myself the same way again. Knowing that no one else will, probably the worst is knowing that Arthur will be wracked with guilt every time he sees me, even though this wasn't his fault."

Hunith held him saying, "Arthur, undoubtedly regrets you being injured, but he will always be your friend. Arthur will always stay with you, and so will everyone else. This won't be easy Merlin, you're going to have to deal with a lot, but remember that Gauis, your friends, and I are all here for you. We always have been and we always will be. As long as you have that, and have faith in yourself you'll be able to get past anything."

Merlin said, nothing as he nodded into his mother's embrace. After he had finished crying, again, Merlin pulled back and wiped his face, "Arthur's right I am turning into a girl."

Hunith smiled at hearing Merlin try to take on his usual joking tone, it was a good sign he would recover. Hunith said, "good, now how about you get out of this room."

Merlin looked up shocked, "What?! Mother I don't think I…"

Hunith held a hand up to dissuade Merlin's argument, "You can't hide in here forever Merlin. You need to face the world sooner or later, and the longer you wait the harder it's going to be."

Merlin swallowed, "You're right, I know you're right. It's just, I haven't felt much like leaving."

Hunith gave him a knowing look, "You've been hiding and you well know it."

Merlin blushed sheepishly, "Yes I have. Oh, fine let's go then, before I change my mind and lock myself in my bedroom."

Merlin stood and they walked out to the courtyard together. When they arrived they found that Arthur had decided to give Merlin and Hunith as much time together as possible so he had called the knights together to train. They were all standing in the field wearing armor and sparring with each other when Merlin and Hunith arrived. Arthur was facing Gwaine, while Percival was sparing with Leon, and Elyan spared with Sir Trevor, a tall dark haired knight whose father had been a good friend and ally of King Uther.

As Merlin and Hunith walked out into the sun Merlin blinked at the light and felt his eyes water. Percival instantly lowered his guard, and Sir Leon had to wildly drop his sword to keep from injuring the larger knight, "Percival what the Hell?"

Percival shouted, "good to see you out Merlin!" Leon turned instantly as the others all dropped their weapons and turned to see Merlin standing shyly next to his mother in the warm afternoon sun.

Merlin blushed brightly, but didn't lower his gaze, "good to be seen." And gave his usual lopsided grin, which pulled painfully at his wounds once again.

Arthur walked forward and clapped Merlin on the shoulder, "About damn time you got outside."

Merlin shrugged, "Can't hide forever right?"

Arthur tousled Merlin's as he said, "Definitely not."

Merlin muttered, "Get off." As he pulled back grinning once again. The others in the courtyard all starred openly at Merlin, news of his wounding had spread across Camelot, but it was clear no one had realized how extensive the damage had been. Merlin looked around the courtyard, but found that he didn't really care about all the people starring, he had nothing to be ashamed of and he was not going to let them force him into feeling ashamed.

Merlin and Hunith walked over to the side of the field and sat on the grass as they watched Arthur and the resume their sparring match. As Merlin watched them fight he remembered all of the things he had already faced in his struggle to help Arthur become king and realized that his wounding was simply the latest challenge to face, and that he would face it as he had faced all the others because he was determined to see the time of Albion come to pass, and he because he knew that like it or not Arthur needed Merlin by his side. Arthur may be an annoying, frustrating, egotistical prate, but he was also Merlin's friend and Merlin wouldn't let anything stand in the way of that bond.


	2. Gratitued

Stand together

Merlin awoke unusually early feeling his stomach twist as he did so. Today was the big day, the day that Gauis was going to remove the stitches from Merlin's face and allow Merlin to return to his duties as the kings' manservant. Gauis and Arthur had both insisted that Merlin wait until the wounds had fully closed before he went back to work, there was too much risk of the injuries getting infected otherwise.

Merlin himself was happy to be moving back into the spring of things, despite being perfectly happy to hide himself away right after he was wounded once Merlin had started to get back out into Camelot he had soon found his old stride. The first few days had been hard people starred, pointed, and whispered as Merlin walked past, but just as they promised, Arthur, his mother, and all the knights had been there for him as he recovered. They had admonished and punished people for insulting Merlin and been there to comfort Merlin when he had really bad days.

Recovering had been a difficult experience for Merlin, he continually felt pain from his wounds and more than once he had woken in the middle of the night with his face searing with agony from the injuries. Merlin also had flashbacks and nightmares from the attack and Gauis and his mother had both had to hold him and ease him after these episodes. They had also had to clean up several pieces of broken glass form Merlin's magic lashing out in his sleep, but eventually the pain had lessened and Merlin had settled back to his usual self and now he was more than ready to get back to work. Merlin smiled ruefully as pulled on his trousers, he never thought he'd live to see the day he was eager to return to Arthur's service.

Merlin walked out to see Gauis sleeping in his usual place while the rest of the room was quiet. Merlin looked around for his mother, noticing that the spare cot she usually occupied was empty, but before he could even begin to worry the door opened and Hunith came in holding a bucket of water and some herbs to help renew Gauis' stores. Merlin smiled, "good morning mother."

Hunith smiled back, "good morning Merlin, how are you feeling?"

Merlin instantly walked over and started making breakfast, "Better. Ready to get to work."

Hunith kissed his uninjured cheek, "good I'm glad." Merlin began to mix together some porridge and boil some tea as Gauis groaned stiffly and sat up in bed.

Gauis smiled and said, "Well this is certainly a surprise, I'm usually the one hauling you out of bed not the other way around."

Merlin shrugged, "I've slept enough." And it was more than true, between Gauis, Gwen, and his mother it seemed like everyone was determined to keep Merlin in bed as much as possible. At first he had been touched by their concern, but it had quickly turned to annoyance as he spent more and more time being sent to 'rest'. Merlin made them all a breakfast and they ate quietly, as soon as they were finished Gauis asked, "Are you ready Merlin?"

Merlin let out a deep breath and said, "As I'll ever be."

Hunith reached out and rubbed the back of Merlin's head in comfort, "Remember what I told you Merlin, it doesn't matter."

Merlin nodded, "I know." And he walked over the patients' cot so Gauis could pull out the stitches without worrying about getting blood anywhere. Gauis took out a pair of tweezers and a small scissor set and gave Merlin a pain killer before he deftly began to remove the stitches on Merlin's face and scalp. Despite the pain killer pulling out the stitches still stung and Merlin couldn't help wincing and hissing in pain as Gauis did his work. Merlin forced himself to stay still as Gauis worked and after several long tense minutes Gauis pulled back and wiped the extra blood gingerly away from Merlin's face as he cleaned himself and the tools.

Merlin licked his now scarred lip nervously before asking, "Well, how does it look?"

Hunith cupped his face in her hand and said, "It's not so bad Merlin, I won't lie and say it's pleasant, but I've seen much worse."

Merlin looked up, "Can I see?"

Gauis held up a mirror, Gwen had left it behind when she had noticed Merlin glancing at himself in the polished brass bowl that he had first seen his wounds in. Merlin held the mirror loosely in his hands, he kept the reflective side turned away from his face, and took several deep steadying breaths before he turned the mirror around. Merlin winced starred wide-eyed at his own reflection, his face looked very different than what he was used to.

The wounds had not closed completely, but they were no longer huge open gashes running alongside Merlin's face as they had been before. Merlin's scars were red and took up half his face, going up into his scalp, across a portion of his lip, and onto his chin. They looked truly nasty and they changed a great deal about Merlin's appearance. Merlin's once elfin face now had a much harsher look to it. Merlin appeared to be more of a battle hardened warrior than a cheerful man servant.

Merlin continued to study his own reflection, his hair was still missing in the area of his scalp where the scars had been. Gauis had been forced to keep it trimmed back to reduce the risk of infection, and the bald spot added to the unusual look of Merlin's face. Unconsciously Merlin reached up and touched the scars, gently running his fingers back and forth across them as though hoping doing so would make them go away. More than once Merlin had considered using magic to reduce or vanish the scars, but he knew it would not work. It was very difficult to perform healing magic on oneself (especially with such extensive injuries), and too many people had seen Merlin's wounds to believe that they had healed without scars.

Merlin closed his eyes as he felt a shudder run through him, Merlin felt so many different things all at once he didn't know where to fall. He was shocked by his appearance, nervous about how others would react, and saddened about his scars. Merlin's face still stung slightly with pain from the wounds, especially when he moved his faces, smiling, laughing, or even frowning, Merlin felt a sense of agony run through him as tears began to fall down his face. It was too much to take all at once, just too much. Hunith and Gauis both pulled him into a hug allowing Merlin to let out his emotions. Gauis had expected this, even though Merlin had said over and over again that he was doing 'fine', and he was indeed recovering well, Gauis knew that facing the reality of the situation all over again was difficult, and accepting the truth of this change would be equally difficult. It was a lot for Merlin to take in all at once, finally the young man pulled away and wiped his face as he asked, "I don't suppose I could just keep hiding in here for another month or two?" In a tone that made it clear he knew it wasn't possible.

Gauis said, "I thought you'd told us you were sick of being cooped up in here all the time?"

Merlin put the mirror down and said, "I am, but people are going to treat me differently now."

Hunith said, "Arthur won't allow anyone to mistreat you."

Merlin sighed, "I know, but they'll still treat me differently."

Hunith rubbed his back in comfort, "Merlin it won't be easy, but you have to face it. Remember what I told you before, the longer you wait the more difficult this will be."

Gauis added, "your mother's right Merlin, putting off the moment everyone sees you will make this worse not better. Besides you have been out before this."

Merlin let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, "I know." It was true, Merlin had left these quarters a number of times as he recovered, but having people see him with his bandages wasn't the same as having them see the deep scars now marring his face. Merlin sat there starring at the door with a feeling of dread swirling in his stomach. Gauis and Hunith watched Merlin gaze at the door as though it were going to eat him and they waited, they knew that this had to be something Merlin did on his own. They had done all they could for Merlin and now it was up to him. Merlin bit his lip and rocked back and forth on the bed before he finally pushed himself up to his feet and walked over to the door.

Merlin stood hesitantly in front of the door thinking, '_come on you bloody coward, you've faced dark sorcerers, a number of magical creatures, King Uther, Morgana, and Arthur's temper-tantrums and your afraid to walk through a bloody door? Get your scrawny legs moving you bloody coward."_ Merlin felt his scars pull as his face twitched into a grin, that last part had sounded more like Arthur's voice than his own.

Stealing himself Merlin opened the door and walked out into the hall with Gauis and his mother right behind him, Merlin felt his feet begin to automatically take him towards the training field. Merlin knew Arthur would be putting his knights through their paces, and many people would come to watch. It was the best way for Merlin to confront everyone all at once. Plus, Merlin knew Arthur and the others would be furious if he didn't go see them immediately after having recovered.

APAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAAPAPA PAPAPAP

Arthur ducked as Gwaine swung his sword in a high arch over the kings head, Arthur couldn't help letting a grin spread across his face as he said, "Not bad Gwaine, but you've got to bend your elbow a bit when you swing, it'll help you follow through with the strike more fluidly."

Gwaine spun as Arthur thrust at him, "Oh, I don't know princess, I've managed well enough on my own. You're still the only one I've ever met who can dodge that shot."

Gwaine swung back and as their swords clashed, Arthur reminded him, "Just because you haven't met anyone else who can evade that move doesn't mean there isn't someone else who _can_ Gwaine."

Gwaine and Arthur's swords continued to cross back and forth as Gwaine said, "True, but I'll worry about that when the time comes."

Arthur snorted, "worry about it now, because I refuse to bring you home on the back of a horse because you didn't train. You need to remain focused."

Gwaine snipped back, "I am focused." Then he glanced up and grinned as he said, "Hello Merlin!" Brightly.

Arthur snorted, "Oh please, you actually expect me to be stupid enough to fall for that?"

Before Gwaine could retort a familiar voice spoke from behind him, "Well I don't know. I've seen you do much stupider things than that."

Arthur dropped his sword as the other knights who had been training turned and starred at the familiar figure now standing on the side of the field with two others standing protectively behind him, "Merlin?!"

Merlin stood grinning cheekily, his face was now heavily scarred and it made him look very different indeed. They could all see the Merlin they knew and remembered as he stood in the field, but there was a significant shift in his appearance. The scars gave Merlin a harder, more weathered look, he now reminded them of someone much older than himself. Someone who had been battered by the world, which in a way was true, but he was still their Merlin.

Merlin shrugged saying, "Who were you expecting? The stable boy?"

Arthur walked forward and pulled Merlin into a hug, which the other man returned. The other knights soon got over their shock and walked over to do the same. Merlin grinned as he returned their embraces, and the grin became even wider as he heard a familiar female voice call his name.

Sure enough, the second Merlin turned he saw Gwen running out from the castle looking half angered, and half thrilled. Gwen walked over and pulled Merlin into a hug as she kissed his uninjured cheek. Then she pulled back and smacked his arm hard. Merlin clutched the arm saying, "Owe, what was that for?"

Gwen put her hands on her hips and said in a tone of mock-scolding, "For not coming to see me the moment you were released."

Merlin blushed and said, "Sorry, I was going to see you next, Gauis told me you were working on something for the kingdom."

Gwen snorted, "Crop reports from outlying villages, we need to know which ones may be struggling to feed themselves and which may be able to provide additional rations to those in need. Arthur and the others can't make head or tales of any of it."

Merlin chuckled, "Well of course not, it's all to do with crops and numbers and since when does Arthur know anything about any of that."

Gwen and Merlin both chuckled at the usual teasing of Arthur who gave a false pout. Merlin felt himself relax even more, he was surprised at how quickly and how easily he was falling into his usually routine of teasing Arthur and joking with the others at court.

Sir Gwaine walked up and grabbed Merlin's chin, tilting his face to get a better look at the scars now adorning his cheek. After a moment Gwaine just gave a loud ,"Ah, that's nothing. I've seen a helluva lot worse. In fact I think it suits you Merlin."

Merlin pulled back, "Oh, really? Well any time you feel like having your face ripped open I'll be happy to obliged."

Gwaine faked a look of consideration than waved it off, "No, it wouldn't do. I've got too many ladies coming after me already. If they found out I got hurt defending the king they'd be lining up to nurse me back to health. I don't think I'd be able to handle all the attention." Gwaine winked roguishly, "A man must sleep sometimes after all."

Merlin quipped back, "So you're saying that I'm going to be the one with all the serving maids knocking on the door desperate to tend the 'poor injured hero'."

Gwaine instantly shot back, "Oh definitely mate, you better start baring the door at night."

Merlin said, "I really don't think it'll be a problem." Then he pointed over his shoulder at Gauis and his mother and said, "After all I do have the two most intimidating body guards in all of Camelot staying with me."

The others all laughed at the truth of this statement as Percival asked, "Seriously Merlin how are you doing?"

Merlin thought for a moment, "Alright." Then seeing their disbelieving looks he said, "Honestly, I'm doing alright. This isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Being here with you lot is actually helping, for once."

Arthur walked up and cuffed Merlin on the back of the head, "Well then, why don't you collect the swords while you're feeling so much better?"

Merlin shrugged and said, "Fine." Then instantly began to collect the swords and shields to bring them back into armory like he usually did.

However, before he could finish Gwen scolded, "Arthur! For goodness sack Merlin just got out of the infirmary, let him find his feet before you start having him muck out the stable and wash your socks."

Arthur blushed sheepishly and Merlin felt himself grin, there was nothing he liked better than seeing Arthur put in his place, and Gwen was one of the few people capable of doing just that. Gwen called one of the other servants over and Merlin instantly handed him the swords he'd already collected as Arthur and the others went to change and wash up. Merlin walked back toward the barracks with them. The knights instantly chatting with him, asking Merlin how he was feeling over and over again, after the fourth time Merlin actually threw his head back and said, "Oh will you please knock it off! I swear if you lot ask me one more time if I'm feeling alright I'm going to put lye in ever last pair of britches you own."

This statement caused Gwen, Gauis, and Hunith to laugh as Arthur and the others looked on in shock. Suddenly a voice called, "If he can threaten you with lye he's fine."

Merlin turned, "Hello Tristan. I wondered when you'd show up."

Tristan said, "I'm surprised you didn't come looking for me."

Merlin said, "I knew you'd come find me on your own."

Tristan walked forward and said, "Well for once you happen to be right about something. It's good to see you finally out of Gauis' rooms."

Merlin leaned his head back and let the sun warm his face as he said, "It feels good to be out as well. I was getting a bit stir crazy being inside all the time."

"And yet you don't seem eager to get back to work." Tristan teased.

"I'm I ever?" Merlin quipped back. As they came to the end of the training field Arthur and the knights peeled off to barracks to change and clean themselves up. A few of the servants followed after to collect their armor once they'd removed it. Merlin stood outside with Gauis, Hunith, Tristan, and Gwen.

Gwen ruffled Merlin's hair in a friendly way and asked, "Tell me truly Merlin how are you feeling?"

Merlin took a deep breath before answering, "It's still a little swore." He gently cradled his cheek, "whenever I move my face it pulls at the scars, and they sting. It's not as bad as it was, the pains more like a sore tooth than anything else, but it's still there."

Gwen's eyes softened sadly as she asked, "And there's nothing Gauis can do?"

Merlin shook his head, "No, the pain will pass in time, but for now I simply have to live with it."

Gwen nodded and pressed, "And everything else?"

Merlin turned to see several of the citizens and servants of Camelot blatantly starring at him, many were whispering behind their hands, and a few were openly pointing and gaping at him. Smirking slightly Merlin raised his hand and gave them all a cheeky wave, something very similar to the type he'd seen Arthur give after the king had won a tournament or received some praise for another well-accomplished task.

When they say this the people instantly scattered and went back to their usual routines. Merlin turned back to Gwen, noting the questioning looks on his mother and Gauis' faces as he did so. Merlin shrugged and said, "You would think they would realize, that if they can see me, then I can see them as well. "

Gwen snickered as Merlin turned and pulled his mother into a hug, "It's alright, I'm doing fine, for now."

None of them missed the 'for now' part of the statement, but in all honestly this was turning out to be much easier than Merlin had feared. Having Arthur and the others laugh and tease him again gave Merlin a sense of normalcy, and that helped keep him grounded so he could keep going. As soon as Arthur and the others were cleaned and changed they all starting walking back into the castle together.

Gwaine stretched his arms above his head and yawned saying, "I am famished."

Elyan snorted, "What else is new? You're always hungry."

Gwaine shrugged and said, "Well I am a growing boy and I do need my nourishment."

Merlin and the others snorted with laughter as Arthur said, "It is getting close to lunch. Let's all go in and have a meal."

Acting more on instinct than anything else Merlin turned towards the kitchens, "Right, I'll have something brought up. Any preferences?"

As Merlin started walking Arthur's voice rang out, "And just where do you think you're going Merlin?"

Merlin turned curiously and pointed back to the kitchen saying in a self-explanatory voice, "to the kitchens. That is where the food is kept."

Arthur shook his head, "didn't we all just agree that you weren't working right now."

Merlin shrugged, "I don't mind, fetching food isn't that hard."

Arthur snorted, "Maybe not, but it'll be rather hard for you to join us if you're running to the kitchens to gather the food."

Merlin's jaw hit the floor at this statement, for a few moments he stood their gaping stupidly too shocked to really register what Arthur had just said. In all Merlin's years at Camelot he had never, not once, been invited to eat at the table with Arthur and the others (unless they were out hunting or on patrol, but that was totally different). Merlin spluttered a few times before saying, "Me? Arthur are you sure? I mean, I'm just a servant people might protest."

Arthur drew himself up to his full height and said, "Merlin you are not just a servant. You are someone who has saved my life a number of times and that deserves to be properly recognized. I think allowing you to eat with us is the least I can offer you as a reward, and anyone who speaks against your presence may answer to me." Arthur turned to Gauis and Hunith and said, "You are both welcome to join us as well."

Hunith blushed deeply and bowed, "Thank you sire, but I am not appropriately dressed to be eating at the king's table."

Gwen stepped forward, "Oh nonsense Hunith, you look lovely. Besides Gwaine once dined with us covered in mud and wearing a torn shirt."

Gwaine simply shrugged, "We had been fighting all day and I was hungry."

The others snorted at the memory as Hunith said, "I would be honored."

Gauis smiled, "I would be pleased to join you as well sire."

Merlin continued to stare at Arthur turned back to him with a look that said, 'well?' Merlin was still sort of shocked by the idea of eating at the kings table, of having Arthur offer this honor to him. Merlin had saved Arthur a number of times over the years, and the only time Arthur had ever said 'thank you' had been after the incident where Merlin had been forced to lie in order to prevent Arthur from slaying Uther. And if Merlin were to be completely honest with himself that moment was probably the one he was least desirable to receive a 'thank you' for. To have Arthur invite him to dine at the table meant a lot.

Merlin grinned and nodded, "Thank you sire."

Arthur waved him along, "Well come on then."

Merlin instantly trotted off as they all headed to the main hall, as they walked past other servants and members of the court whispered and pointed as they past. Most of them were transfixed by Merlin's scars (after all none of them knew Arthur had just invited Merlin, his mother, and Gaius to dine with him), but just as before Merlin simply turned and gave the servants and wave and a cocky smile. Just as with the servants outside the others scattered as soon as he did. As for the courtiers, every single one who muttered at Merlin was soon confronted with an angry glare from the king which silenced them instantly.

As they walked into the hall Gwen called one of the other servants, a shorter broad shouldered man named Thomas who was a few years older than Merlin, and asked him to send them some food. As they walked to the table Merlin hesitated instinctively, despite the differences between Arthur and Uther it was highly unusual for the king to invite a servant, and a peasant to share his table. Arthur turned back, "If you're planning on standing there all day Merlin, I'll be more than happy to have a few wet clothes hung off your body. At least then you'll be serving a purpose."

Merlin quipped back, "Well sire, if you're that keen to flash your socks and breeches to the entirety of Camelot please don't let me stand in your way." And he walked over to the table, pulling out a chair for his mother as Arthur pulled one out for Gwen. Both women said 'thank you' as Arthur took his seat, despite Arthur's dismissal of the separation between classes it would still be incredibly scandalous for the other men not to wait for the king to be seated before they took seats themselves. As soon as Arthur was in his chair the others followed.

Merlin couldn't help feeling slightly out of place, this was still the kings table after all, and for all his hopes for the future Merlin had never expected Arthur to invite him to share it. Merlin shifted nervously in his seat and Thomas and another servant named Meredith, a small girl with mousey hair and a heart shaped face, came in carrying a platter of fruit and several jugs of water and wine. Merlin choose the water, he wasn't much of a drinker, and didn't know how alcohol would react with the pain-killing potions Gauis was still giving him to help dull the constant ache in his cheek.

They all began to eat as Thomas scuttled back to the kitchen for the rest of the meal. As they began to eat Elyan asked, "So Merlin, when are you planning on returning to your duties?"

Merlin turned to face him, "Why do you miss me?"

Arthur snorted, "On the contrary Merlin, we all find that things move much more smoothly without you around tripping over your own two feet every few minutes."

Merlin quipped back, "Yes, but I'm sure you've been bored stiff while I've been away. Our poor king, with no one but George around to make jokes about brass."

Arthur shook his head ruefully, "Don't remind me, George is a good servant, but he's so bloody dull he could probably put a dragon to sleep. Still, it's not as though I've been alone without you." Arthur smiled at Gwen, who blushed slightly, then continued, "No Merlin, we need you to return to duty, because without you around we've no one to torment."

Merlin said, "in that case I think I'll just stay in Gauis' rooms forever."

Arthur said, "nice try Merlin, but I want you back to work in a week, unless Gauis says otherwise."

Arthur turned to Gauis who shook his head, "that will be more than enough time sire."

Merlin sighed heavily, "I suppose, I'll just have to resign myself to once again taking up the duty of serving the biggest clotpole in the kingdom."

Arthur pointed at Merlin and gave a stern, "Watch it." As Peter and Meredith returned with lunch. Merlin felt his mouth water at the sight and smell of the freshly roasted pheasant they were eating. The only time Merlin had ever eaten from the kitchens had been when he had brought that chicken Arthur'd gotten for Gwen back to Gauis' quarters. The pheasant smelled wonderfully, the fresh herbs and spices used to season the meat gave off the most tantalizing scent and Merlin felt his mouth water as the meal was served out.

As per traditional, everyone waited until Arthur started to eat before serving themselves. Merlin couldn't help feeling slightly uneasy as Peter put a healthy portion of food on his plate, despite the smells that were making his stomach growl Merlin couldn't help feeling out of place at the moment. Hunith was also looking a little hesitantly at the food unsure if she should eat or not. Arthur noticed their reluctance and said, "You know Merlin, the purpose of putting food on a plate in front of you is for you to eat it, not stare at it."

Merlin shrugged as he dug in saying, "I was looking it over for safety Sire, after all there have been several poisonings throughout the years."

Arthur's eyes dulled slightly at the mention of poison and Merlin mentally kicked himself for reminding Arthur of Uther's death. Merlin blushed sheepishly as Arthur said, "Yes well, since no one's been affected yet I think you can deem the meal safe."

Merlin brought the pheasant to his mouth and nearly moaned out loud, it was absolutely delicious, a rich and slightly salty. It tasted a bit like chicken, but was a little stronger. The one taste was enough to remind Merlin of how hungry he was and he instantly dug in as Hunith began to eat as well. Merlin was surprised how well the meal passed, Arthur and the other knights spoke about the new battle techniques they'd been trying and a few of the training incidents they'd had while Merlin had been recuperating, and Merlin joked back with them as usual.

Gwen gently coaxed Hunith into a conversation and soon the two of them were deep in discussion about how to do more to help citizens who lived in outlying villagers away from the protection and resources available to ones who lived directly in and around Camelot. Merlin found himself completely forgetting about his face and finding it easy to relax back into his usual back and forth between Arthur and the others. Gauis and insisted Merlin come back to his quarters after lunch so he could reapply a paste to Merlin's wounds. Despite the fact that the gashes were relatively healed, they still needed to be treated carefully in order to protect against infection, which was much more likely now that the bandages were off and the wounds were exposed to the air.

The risk of infection was one of the reasons Gauis insisted Merlin wait until the wounds had fully closed before returning to work, there was too much danger of Merlin getting dirt or some other contaminant into the wounds and having them fester if he was scrubbing floors and mucking out the stables. Merlin sighed resignedly as he returned to the physicians' quarters, now that he was out and about he found it easier to remain amongst the usual hustle and bustle of the castle instead of going back to Gauis' rooms.

As Merlin walked back people continued to whisper as he passed, but he ignored them. Merlin was used to people treating him badly (after all tormenting him was one of Arthur's favorite past-times) and he found that he didn't really care as much about the starring. However, Merlin's grudging acceptance of his situation didn't last as he heard two ladies of the court gossiping louder than the others, "Honestly, I don't know what they king is thinking keeping that foolish manservant of his around. The boy's always been a useless, clumsy oaf, the only thing vaguely acceptable about him was he was half-decent looking and now he's lost that as well."

The other lady said, "Yes, I completely agree, I mean who in the world would want to be starring at someone so hideous every single day? If one of my servants were to be so badly damaged I'd simply dismiss them hire a new one."

The first lady nodded, "too true, all too true. You'd think the king of Camelot would have higher standards for his staff."

Merlin flinched away from them feeling slightly sick, but before he could dash off to hide back in Gauis' rooms sir Gwaine, who had been following along behind them turned and said, "King Arthur, is rewarding a servant who was nearly killed protecting the life of his ruler. Such an act is worthy of praise and not dismissal. King Arthur may not be perfect, but he appreciates and acknowledges all who are loyal to him, and it is not your place to question his actions." Gwaine paused then flashed a cheeky grin as he said in a tone of mock-puzzlement, "And I can't help but wonder what the king would say if he knew you were questioning his actions."

The two ladies went white as a pair of freshly laundered sheets as the spluttered out apologies and walked briskly away. Gwaine snarled at their retreating back, "Stupid twats." He muttered.

Merlin said, "Thanks Gwaine."

Gwaine cuffed Merlin playfully on the side of the head, "think nothing of it Merlin, those two idiots don't understand the sacrifices we've all made for Arthur, they don't appreciate the bravery of your actions and they aren't worth the trouble of worrying about."

Merlin felt the lump return to his stomach as he said, "That may be, but the problem is that a lot of the nobility are going to be saying the same thing. Everyone's going to be talking about what a useless, ugly, good for nothing I am now."

Merlin winced slightly, "You know one of the few things I liked about serving Arthur was that I could go unnoticed. It was easy for me to disappear amongst the other servants, and when things were getting too hard for me, or if I needed to go off and do something I could just blend in with everyone else and people would just sort of forget I was around. That way I could avoid people giving me trouble or just go take a few minutes for myself, but now I don't have that. I'm going to be sticking out like a sore thumb from now on, everyone's going to be starring and noticing me no matter what."

Merlin leaned against the wall looking suddenly tired, "you know, I thought I was ready for all of this, and now I'm not so sure."

Gwaine looked completely puzzled at how to deal with the situation, he spluttered uncertainly, "Ah, Merlin I, well uh…."

Gwaine stood there totally overwhelmed with how to deal with the situation, but Gauis and Hunith noticed Gwaine's struggles and walked over to the two. Hunith pulled Merlin into a hug as Gauis said, "Merlin, I'm sorry you've lost that. I know how much being able to blend in means to you when it comes to fulfilling your duties, but you'll find a way around it just like you did with all the other challenges you've had to face."

Merlin nodded feeling himself start to shake slightly, Hunith added, "and Merlin you need to remember that people will be shocked by your appearance now, but eventually they will become accustomed to the changes in your looks and won't even notice it."

Merlin shuddered, "That doesn't make it any easier. I've never cared much about my looks, but now." Merlin said, "People are going to be repulsed by me now."

Hunith continued to hold her son as she said, "People who don't know you may very well see you as ugly, but those who do know you will see the truth. They will see that you are a brave, kind, and strong young man, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. There never has been and there never will be."

Merlin just stood there leaning into his mother not caring if anyone saw, Gwaine offered them what protection he could by blocking off the alcove they were standing in order to ensure that Merlin had the privacy he needed.

Merlin could feel a few tears sprinkling falling leaking down his cheek as he stood, being smacked with the reality of his situation when he'd been doing so well wasn't easy. Finally, Merlin pulled back and straightened himself out as he wiped his face, leaning his head against his mothers', "It's just, I thought I was ready for everything, and I just realized that I'm not."

Gauis rubbed his back softly, "you can never plan for every challenge you will have to face, you simply have to accept them as they come. It'll never be easy, but we'll be here for you."

Gwaine said, "all of us will be here Merlin."

Merlin gave a very weak smile, "thanks. Come on, we can't very well stand in the middle of the hall all day."

Gauis could tell Merlin was trying to pull himself out of his depression by focusing his mind on something else and went with it, "no we can not. Now let's get you back to my rooms so I can look you over."

Gwaine walked them back to the physicians rooms then bid farewell to everyone and headed back to Arthur. Gwaine found the king, and the queen, in Arthur's room looking over a set of scrolls. Gwaine coughed slightly to gain their attention and sure enough both of them looked up.

Arthur spoke first, "What is it Gwaine?"

Gwaine sighed and explained what had just happened, Gwen scowled angrily and Arthur stood, anger etched clearly on his face, "Stupid nitwits, Merlin is a major pain, but he is a good man and his actions are deserving of respect not insult."

Gwen said, "Then we need to let everyone know that."

Arthur turned and as his eyes met his wife's the two of them had a silent conversation and after moment they both nodded in agreement. Arthur gave a knowing smirk, "Yes, I have been thinking that Merlin deserves to be rewarded for his actions. We need to show everyone that his actions are worthy of honor, and that I am incredibly grateful to him for what he did."

Gwaine came forward saying, "Arthur, whatever you decide to do, if it helps Merlin I can promise you the other knights and I will be there with you."

Arthur turned and grinned cheekily, "Exactly what I was hoping for, summon Tristan and the others immediately. I've got a plan."

Gwaine raised an eyebrow and said, "Well let's hope that it goes better than most of your usual plans tend to go."

Arthur shrugged, "Well, I don't know what will happen, but you have to admit we're must less likely to come this close" he held his thumb and forefinger barley an inch apart from each other, "to getting killed this time."

Gwaine nodded in agreement, "True, very true. All right, I'll go get the others" And he tottered off, it didn't take long before Arthur and the knights were crowded around Arthur's work table discussing Arthur's idea. Usually they would be meeting together at the round table, but Arthur didn't want word getting back to Merlin and he knew that his quarters were one of the few places in the castle where he could be relatively confident in their not being overheard.

EXCAEXCAEXCAEXCAEXCAEXCA

Merlin winced slightly as Gauis rubbed the foul smelling paste into his cheek, not only did the stuff stink terribly, but it also stung a bit. Gauis said, "I'm sorry Merlin, but there's no other way."

Merlin sat still as Gauis finished applying the paste, the stuff smelled like burnt food and made Merlin gag slightly. As Merlin sat with the thick yellow salve covering his cheek he squirmed as it began to dry, it felt like having drying mud on his face. Merlin ran a hand through his already messy hair as he groaned loudly, "this is going to be so much harder than I thought it would be."

Gauis rubbed his shoulders as Hunith wrapped and arm around her son. As hard as it was for both of them to accept this was one time where they couldn't offer any experience of advice to deal with a problem. Neither of them knew what it was like to suddenly be badly scarred and become the center of court gossip as a result. While they could both be there to help and support Merlin they couldn't do anything more to help him, and that hurt them both more than they could say.

The next few days were difficult for Merlin, he had stayed up most of the first night talking to Gauis and his mother, but it still wasn't easy for him. Merlin refused to let the courtiers frighten him into hiding away, but it was still difficult for him to deal with all the stares, and pointing and whispering. What made things worse was that Arthur and the others were (rather obviously) up to something, and every time Merlin tried to figure out what it was they instantly went quiet and grinned knowingly, so Merlin knew that whatever they were doing had to do with him.

Merlin couldn't help getting frustrated by the knights keeping, whatever the Hell it was they were hiding, from him. Especially after what had just happened, and what made it worse was that they seemed to find his getting annoyed about it all very funny. Three days after he had first left Gauis' quarters Merlin was told to put on his best clothes and come to main hall. Merlin rolled his eyes and changed into the same outfit he'd worn for Arthur and Gwen's marriage and walked into the hall.

Arthur and the knights were standing there along with several members of the court. As soon as Merlin entered Arthur said, "Snap to men." The knights instantly stood straight and turned to face Merlin who walked forward as Arthur said, "Merlin, I have summoned you here today to thank you for your actions during the griffin attack. I know it has been difficult for you to adjust to this change in your life, and many people have spoken ill of you since you were injured. The fact remains that you were injured protecting me and that deserves honoring, so step forward."

Merlin blushed slightly as he walked forward seeing his mother and Gauis standing proudly next to Arthur and Gwen. Merlin didn't have the slightest clue what Arthur was planning, but he knew enough about court traditions to bow as reached the king and queen.

Arthur said, "Merlin Ambrosia." Merlin blushed even deeper at the sound of his last name, he'd never really liked it, "you have preformed an honorable act in the service of Camelot, you put yourself in serious dangers on a number of occasions to protect me. You were nearly killed drinking poison to protect me, and you have been scarred saving me from an attack by a fierce beast. In gratitude for your actions I, King Arthur Pendragon do hereby offer you this token of appreciation so that everyone will know of your actions."

Arthur held out his hand and Merlin gasped, Arthur was holding a ring with a Camelot crest on it. To be given a signet ring by the king was usually a reward only offered to those who had committed great acts of bravery and service to the kingdom. It was a truly special and rare gift, Merlin reached out and took the ring feeling truly awed, "Thank you sire, this is…"Merlin stumbled slightly, "Truly incredible, I am honored."

Merlin put the ring on feeling incredibly overwhelmed as he did so, "You earned it Merlin, now no matter where you go, everyone will see that you are an ally of Camelot and a friend to the kingdom."

Merlin bowed again as everyone started clapping, Merlin said, "Thank you again sire." Then he whispered, "but you could have given me at least a little warning."

Arthur clapped him on the shoulder, "and miss the look on your face, or the opportunity to bestow public awkwardness upon you, never."

Merlin wrinkled his nose, "I don't need your help to make an idiot of myself in public."

Arthur smacked him again and said, "Believe me Merlin I know."

Merlin grinned as everyone begin to step forward and congratulate him, this truly meant a lot to him, Arthur had never publicly rewarded (or even thanked) Merlin for anything before, Merlin was used to saving Camelot and having no one but Gauis, Hunith, or the great dragon (and occasionally Lancelot) knowing about it. To receive this kind of public acknowledgement was rather disconcerting for him, but he found that he like the idea. Merlin kept starring at his hand, half expecting the rign wouldn't be there the next time he glanced over at it. Merlin couldn't stop smiling as the he walked back out of the hall with everyone else and headed out to the banquet hall to celebrate.

Merlin returned to duty by the end of week, but it still took several more before Gauis deemed Merlin's rooms completely healed (or as well as they ever could be), but by that time Merlin found it relatively easy to swing back into his daily chores. Hunith returned to Ealdor after a very tearful good-bye and Merlin slowly re-adjusted to life at Arthur's beck and call, Merlin wore his ring at all times, he kept it hung on a chain around his neck so he didn't have to worry about losing it or getting it caught on anything when he was cleaning and such. Merlin found that people did indeed treat him differently, but not in a bad way. Arthur's presentation had shown everyone how much the simple servant meant to the king and no one was willing to risk Arthur's anger by insulting or mistreating Merlin again. In fact, for the first time ever, Merlin found himself treated with a slight amount of respect and gratitude by most of the people in Camelot.

Despite all of this there was still a great deal of pointing and whispering, and of course starring, when Merlin traveled through the castle, and more than once Merlin returned to Gauis' chambers exhausted and very bad tempered. Gauis helped Merlin through it just as he always had, by offering a sympathetic ear and knowing advice for the problem. Then one day it happened, Merlin completely forgot about his scars, he didn't spend all of his time being frustrated by the stares and whispers, he didn't worry about other people, he didn't even catch himself looking into reflective surfaces over and over again. He just went about his day like he normally would and when he returned to Gauis' chamber realized he'd gone the entire time without once bothering over his scars.

Merlin grinned to himself as he realized something, being injured had changed him a great deal, but despite all these changes he was still the same person he'd always been and as long as he held onto that, and had the support of his friends he could get through this and get back to his destiny of helping Arthur unite the land of Albion. Merlin headed off to bed going over his usual list of chores and groaning as he realized that despite Arthur's gratitude the annoying king hadn't done anything to lighten Merlin's workload. Merlin shrugged as he changed into his night shirt and said to himself, "Well I guess some things will never change." And feel asleep feeling slightly comforted by the fact that as difficult as all of this was the sense of normalcy was exactly what he needed right now, and as much as he might hate himself for admitting it, he was _somewhat_ grateful to Arthur for offering him that. Yes, as long as he had Gauis, Gwen, Arthur, and the others Merlin knew he'd be alright.

The end.

What did you think? Reviews are welcome


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